The Opposite of Love

When I started this blog I was going to write about gardening.  Lately I've been doing a different type of gardening and growing.  I've been pulling weeds from my life garden.  Some of them have roots so deep I feel like I need a jackhammer to get them out.  If I'm being totally honest here, most of them have very deep roots.  Have you ever tried to pull a dandelion out of the ground?  It's ridiculous how quickly they dig down into your yard or garden and don't want to leave.  Well, I've let some bad habits grow in my life for way too long and it has been a tough journey (still a work in progress) uprooting these weeds.  You have to completely eliminate the roots and that doesn't guarantee they haven't gone to seed in other areas.  It's very important to be thorough.

Root from a weed tree growing in the garden, this is not my heart!

Last week while Phil and I were having coffee, he was talking about a radio program he was listening to and the lady said, "the opposite of love is selfishness".  What?!?!  Yup.  We can not love the way Jesus wants us to love when selfishness is present.  Boom!  Right there in the Good Book. 

                                 Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said
                                  "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn
                                  from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow 
                                  me."  ~Jesus                                            Mark 8:34
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Turn from your selfish ways: Take up your cross, Follow the Lord!

So, the first weed I am trying to eliminate is selfishness.  Easy, right?  Not quite.  Not when you've lead a selfish life.  The unfortunate thing is that the person who was on the receiving end of most of my selfishness is Phil.  The fortunate thing is that people can change, and they do, and I am.  This process requires total dependence on God.  I can not do this without Him.  Big G.  Dying to self daily, turning to Him always, praying and thanking Him often, turning from my selfish ways.  Not an easy or painless task.  It's hard work, but so worth it. The best part is Phil loves me and I love him and we're in this together, till death do us part.  

The second weed I am trying to eliminate in my life is fear.  Yup, another big one.   God's been talking to me through a lot of people and radio shows, music and sermons about this one.  Fear is big and the less we talk about our fears the bigger they get.  I've learned that talking about my fears deflates the power they have over me. It's like popping a balloon and letting all the air out.  Most of the time there is no reason for my fear, only the evil one trying to keep me hiding.  The devil has done a pretty good job keeping me in hiding.  I've isolated myself from friends and family and it's tough trying to get back in, but I'm working on that too.  I'm learning to face fears, some head on and some from behind.  I fail often but the successes are encouraging and freeing.

                                   

                                   "There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out

                                     fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one  

                                     who fears is not made perfect in love."    1 John 4:18

                                    But when I am afraid,
                                         I will put my trust in you.                     Psalm 56:3

One thing I know is that I couldn't do this without the help of my counselor. She is helping me to speak up more (about fears) and think better, especially of myself.  She is a fantastic woman who is compassionate, intelligent and empathetic, and she knows where to challenge me.  I highly recommend a counselor when digging deep into the dirt of your life.

Talk:  about your fears!

So, here's the wrap up:

     Turn -  from selfish ways!
          Talk - about fears!
               Trust God!